“I am sickened because this means that a black man who abuses dogs will go to jail, while a black man who abuses black girls will suffer no consequences,” Cobb told BlackAmericaWeb.com, referring to the unfortunate circumstances surrounding former NFL quarterback Michael Vick, who is serving a 23-month prison sentence for his role in a dogfighting ring.
I was really disturbed by the not guilty verdict of the R. Kelly trial. Now that I think about it, I was more disturbed by the lack of regard for the Black girls that he preyed upon. The lack of regard is indicative of our community's feelings towards Black females --- we are to be treated with total disregard and to be disposed of as absolute trash. Isn't it strange how that same sentiment is shared by some members of the White community with regards to Blacks as a collective?
Where does this resentment come from? Does it come from the fear of sending another brotha to jail? Does it come from the satisfaction of mistreating people because of what you've been dealt? Is this behavior reflective of a poor mother and son relationship? And where are their fathers for the proper guidance? Why is there a special love for slut culture in our community? Why is this type of behavior acceptable?
"The Black man doesn't belong in jail."
I can accept that. It's not the Black man's destiny to be ex-cons. I don't care what those garbage rap songs say. I don't care about that false sense of manhood that's embraced by far too many in the 'hood. We are not supposed to be useless members of society. Walking the path of lawlessness is not what's hot in the long run. So when it's said that the Black man doesn't belong in jail, I can accept that. But what about the knucklehead that needs to be properly reprimanded? What about closure for the victims and their families? Whatever happened to preserving the quality of life of your environment and wanting something better for the little shorties coming up in the world?
I understand the origins of the Stop Snitching movement but we're only hurting ourselves. The law-abiding and the lawless shouldn't have to coexist. My safety shouldn't have to be compromised over some bullshit solidarity for degenerates. Fuck that.
Sexism as a Reaction to Racism.
The Black woman has two strikes working against her. For whatever reason, a lot of Black men don't wanna acknowledge it cuz they'd rather engage in a contest over adversities. It's understood that brothas have got it hard due to racism and I'd never pretend that it doesn't exist. But please, understand that we too have it hard as we are dealing with both racism and sexism on the daily. Don't trivialize our pain as you wouldn't appreciate that being done to you. Support, like respect, is a two-way street.
Is Momma to Blame? Yup. And So Are Absentee Dads.
The pattern that I see with a lot of men these days is this reluctance to man up. I think this problem is enabled by their mothers' unwillingness to cut the cord or their mothers are expecting them to automatically know everything as if children don't come into the world with a clean slate. What also enables this problem is the uninvolved father who wasn't there to properly groom their boys into decent human beings.
I see it all the time when a mother's going "Not my baby. My baby wouldn't do that." Or they're coddling their sons from much needed reprimand for their wrongdoing. Mothers also don't give their sons enough responsibility (e.g., chores), like to cut them a lot of slack (e.g., lax curfews), and they also have low expectations of their sons (e.g., "At least he ain't out running in the streets."). Why is that supposed to be OK? And why aren't Black girls afforded the same treatment? What makes us so bad that we aren't given a pass for the same things Black boys do?
Now, absentee fathers do not help this situation at all. Being uninvolved in the development of a boy does serious damage. The boy feels like no one cares about him, there's no real male role model for him, and this all feeds into him becoming an uncaring, irresponsible man.
Because of those problems it's fundamental that a child is raised by both parents. It's especially helpful that both parents be well-adjusted. I can't stand the large number of immature people having children. It grinds the hell out of my gears.
The Love of Slut Culture.
Slut culture has been around for eons. But since the mid 90s, the culture has been on steroids. There isn't a day where you don't see a Black music video with a girl gyrating her hips while being scantily clad. I hate those videos because they always feature Black (or partially Black) women. This isn't how I like to see us represented to the world. I especially hate those videos because they're targeted to children. These kids can't decipher between real and make-believe so why is it acceptable for them to watch those garbage videos?
I don't want little Black girls thinking that all they have to offer are their bodies. I don't want little Black girls to not build on their intellect. I know some people will say "People should raise their own damned kids." Well guess what? A large number of people aren't raising their own damned kids. Should those parentless children fend for themselves and go the wayward path so that people can feel guilt-free when they're "stepping in the name of love?" Aren't those kids worthy of protection and guidance? Of course not. It's perfectly acceptable for young girls to deviate into Black girls lost looking for love and attention in the absolute worst places because no one cares to put them on the right path, nurture them, and teach them that they're beautiful no matter their hair texture or skin tone. It's perfectly acceptable for Black girls to engage in risky behaviors when they're already the largest group of STD carriers.
The Black female has been turned into a malcontent and that's an accepted notion in our community. And this isn't an indictment against Black men. They're not alone in throwing the Black female under the bus. It takes the apathy or full acceptance from Black women to realize such a notion as well.
It boggles my mind that these sellouts are jumping over each other to absolve R. Kelly and his ilk of any crime against Black girls. They've even got the gall to quote The Bible. The consensus from the intellectuals of the Essence.com reader comments section is "Only God should judge." Man, shut the fuck up! That is absolute bullshit when applied to a SERIAL STATUTORY RAPIST. What business does a grown-ass man have fucking a 14-year-old GIRL? What business does that same dirtbag have marrying a 15-year-old GIRL? What business does that man have hanging around the Rock and Roll McDonald's on prom night? What business does that man have hanging around Kenwood Academy? There's no exemption to be applied when examining despicable behavior. I mean, what will it take for members of our community to cut this nigga loose? If there were boys on that sex tape, would that do the trick?
Why Is This Behavior Acceptable?
I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around the accepted disdain for the Black female. After all of what's been mentioned earlier I just can't accept that it's OK or deem it understandable to reject the Black female the way that our community has. All we've ever done is repeatedly assume the role of foot soldier and sacrificial lamb. Perhaps it is that type of selflessness that is causing this problem.
Angela Davis has a great quote about society and sexism and I'd like to end this piece with it: "To understand how any society functions you must understand the relationship between the men and the women."
Please sign the petition in the column, Black Men Against Exploitation of Black Women.