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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Is There Some Kinda Birth Control Allergy?

About 80% of black babies are born to unwed moms
Report: These children face life with greater disadvantages. By Tim Evans

About eight in 10 black children in Indiana are born to unwed parents -- a start to life that sets them up for problems during adolescence and beyond, according to an Indiana Black Expo report.

Indiana's black youths fare significantly worse than Hoosier youths in general across 18 indicators of well-being, such as graduation rates and poverty levels, and do worse than black youths in the U.S, according to the report being released Friday.

Tanasha Anders, acting president and chief executive of Indiana Black Expo, said the problem comes down to education -- making sure young people finish school and understand the consequences of having a baby.

"Everything else is a domino effect," she said.

The explosion of births to unwed parents is driving many of the state's social problems, such as increases in poverty and child abuse and the growing cost of public aid, said Bill Stanczykiewicz, president and CEO of the Indiana Youth Institute. He added that the problem is not exclusive to any one race.

Indiana's out-of-wedlock birthrate is at an all-time high, with unwed mothers accounting for nearly 40 percent of all births, he said. Nationally, about 36 percent of all births are to unwed mothers. (Source)

There has to be something that can explain this out of control out-of-wedlock birth rate in the Black community. I know the article said that this problem in Indiana goes beyond race, but high out-of-wedlock births is a problem in our community. Obviously Black women make conservative choices and keep our unborn children, but why not opt for contraceptives? They're out there and they're for FREE at clinics and hospitals.

It still is a problem with the teenagers but now there's a rising young adult population who are becoming single parents. I've noticed that over the years as well, but what ever happened to wanting to make life easier for yourself? Parenting is hard but it's especially hard when it's one person that has to shoulder the load.

I just want to understand why a lot of women are opting to go it alone with parenting. I've heard it all: "Men ain't shit," "Just cuz you married don't mean he'll stick around," "I don't need no man," "Fathers aren't that important," & the other nonsense. There has to be something more. Is there a void? Is this generational (i. e., "My mother and my grandmother didn't need a man to raise their children?")?

I have a friend that always argues with me over my life decisions with regards to parenting. You see, I'm not ready to have children. I'm not married nor am I ready to be married, therefore, I'm not ready to be a mother. It's like she's dying to be a mother and wants to prove to herself and maybe the world that she can do it all. That's her prerogative but I know that I can use all the help I need. A child is a life-long commitment --- not some project for work with a deadline.

This friend of mine thinks that I'm making a big deal out of parenthood and that I think too much. Mind you, she has no children so only God knows where this wisdom comes from. Every parent I know tells me how difficult it is to raise a child. Especially on your own. They also say that I should live my life now while it's still my own. I'll take their sound advice.

When my time comes to be a mother, I want to be able to provide the best that I can for my child. That would include a two-parent household, a college savings, a good neighborhood for them to be raised in, a good school for them to go to, and everything they need. This is something that a lot of single moms don't consider. For the record, I'm not lumping them all together.

I understand that some relationships don't work. The death of your child's father can definitely play a role. Maybe the contraceptive you used failed. If single parenthood is the circumstance that you're dealt due to something completely out of your control, that's one thing. I just don't understand women who irresponsibly prolong or create generational poverty.

Spontaneity can be wonderful but not with the life of a child.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

First of all, I tend to recoil from anyone who can say "you think too much" That kinda mindset scares the bejeezus out of me.

As for Parenthood, wow, thats just too much stuff going on. The whole dilemma makes my head hurt...nice blog though...ive enjoyed reading you.