Why Don't I Feel Sorry for Them?

For Christine Cameron, the recession became real when the financial analyst she had been dating for about a year would get drunk and disappear while they were out together, then accuse her the next day of being the one who had absconded.

Dawn Spinner Davis, 26, a beauty writer, said the downward-trending graphs began to make sense when the man she married on Nov. 1, a 28-year-old private wealth manager, stopped playing golf, once his passion. "One of his best friends told me that my job is now to keep him calm and keep him from dying at the age of 35," Ms. Davis said. "It's not what I signed up for."

Peep the mission statement:

Are you or someone you love dating a banker? If so, we are here to support you through these difficult times. Dating A Banker Anonymous (DABA) is a safe place where women can come together - free from the scrutiny of feminists- and share their tearful tales of how the mortgage meltdown has affected their relationships. DABA Girls was started by two best friends whose relationships tanked with the economy. Not knowing what else to do, we did what frustrated but articulate girls have done since the beginning of time - we started a blog. So if your monthly Bergdorf's allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but disappeared from your life, lighten your heart with laughter and email your stories to dabagirls@gmail.com. Warning all stories sent will be infused with our own special brand of DABA Girl humor.

SOURCE

Two words of criticism: Plum foolery. One word of advice: Reevaluation.

Young Woman Killed Over a Bruised Ego

Teen shot after rebuffing advances dies
Mildred Beaubrun's family wants to find the man who shot her after she rejected advances.

RIP Mildred.

Susan Jacobson Sentinel Staff Writer
June 4, 2008

Mildred Beaubrun's family celebrated her final birthday, her 19th, with cards and balloons at her bedside Sunday at Orlando Regional Medical Center.

Two days later, the young woman, who was shot after she rebuffed the advances of several men who spotted her at a downtown Orlando gas station last month, was declared brain-dead and removed from life support.

Beaubrun's mother, grandmother and aunt stood beside her, stroking her hair and hands, crying and praying as the machines were turned off. Now, they want the public's help in tracking down her killers.

"I let her know: Thank you -- thank you for being here," said Beaubrun's aunt, Margaret Francis of Marietta, Ga. "It's going to be all right. She's in God's hands."

Beaubrun of west Orange County and two girlfriends were accosted early May 19 after a night of partying at Club Firestone. As they left a 7-Eleven on Colonial Drive after buying gas and something to drink, three or four men in a silver or gray Chevrolet HHR followed their dark-blue Nissan Maxima.

"Hey, baby, what's your phone number?" they called out as the cars headed west.

At John Young Parkway and Princeton Street, a bullet ripped through the door of the Maxima and shrapnel struck Beaubrun, who was sitting in the back seat. She had been fighting for her life ever since, losing part of a lung, beating back pneumonia and suffering potentially paralyzing spinal damage.

In the end, her injuries were too severe. She died about 1 p.m. Tuesday, her family said.

"Every day was a struggle," Francis said. "She was fighting to be here." (More Stuff...)

This breaks my heart. This young girl was killed. And over what? A fucking bruised ego? Who failed those little boys that holla'd her? Who didn't teach them to take rejection like men? Why is it OK to kill over rejection which was terribly misconstrued as disrespect? Why do women have to handle men so delicately as if they're a ticking time bomb?

I used to just shake my head at my friends who would oh so politely turn down an unrelenting guy who wanted their number (read as "ass"). They did so in order to not be called a "bitch." I'm not like them. I hate giving out fake numbers. I hated lying about having a man (now I have one and it's the same unrelenting behavior). They don't let up when you tell them you're involved: "We can be friends." "Well, does he allow you to have friends?" "Are you faithful?" "Is he faithful?" Why can't I reject some sex-thirsty clown that acts like that? You're acting desperately and I'm supposed to want you? Huh?

I've been called a "bitch" and "stuck-up" for refusing the advances of jackasses who would interfere with my personal space, grab my arm, hit me with a host of questions regarding my relationship, or yell out "Ay you, with the tight jeans on!" or "Ay you, with the big ass." That's very attractive. I mean, why wouldn't I wanna give you the goods after that? *Sighs* This is the reason I wear a "'FUCK OUT MY FACE" scowl when I'm at the unofficial singles venue (read as "outside of my home"). My friends act like I'm bugging when I put up a shield but this act of madness and the aforementioned behavior warrant my actions.

I don't know what's in the water these days, but we've got a new brand of jackasses that can't handle rejection. Especially when in the company of their boys. What are women to do about street harrassment? Should we handle these fools delicately? Seems like being insulted is the very least that can be done.


MUST-READ LINKS:

UPDATE: Mildred Beaubrun passes on
Mildred Braeburn: Rest In Peace for Sticking to Your Principles

Cable News and the Fostering of Xenophobia

Fear & Loathing in Prime Time: Immigration Myths and Cable News

"Number one, the illegal aliens shouldn't be here. And number two, the culture from which they come is a lot more violent than the USA."
-- The O'Reilly Factor, January 15, 2007

There are many problems facing the United States today: a faltering economy, a health-care crisis, and the continuing war in Iraq, to name a few. But viewers of some of the most prominent cable news programs are presented a different reality in which one issue stands above all others: illegal immigration.

Media Matters Action Network undertook this study in order to document how immigration is discussed and debated on cable news. When it comes to immigration, cable news overflows not just with vitriolic rhetoric, but also with a series of myths that feed viewers' resentment and fears, fostering hostility toward immigrants.

We focus our analysis on a trio of cable commentators: Lou Dobbs, Bill O'Reilly, and Glenn Beck. While hosts on other cable programs regularly discuss illegal immigration (particularly on Fox News, where it is a frequent topic on Hannity & Colmes and Special Report with Brit Hume), these three are the most notable for a number of reasons. On their eponymous programs, Dobbs, O'Reilly, and Beck serve up a steady diet of fear, anger, and resentment on the topic of illegal immigration. (More Stuff...)

I find it strange that illegal immigrants are on the receiving end of hatred while Americans who exploit their labor aren't even considered. Isn't that something? The greatest benefactors of illegal immigration have yet to be taken to task. Stupidity must be bliss too.

Feel free to contact these jokers directly and help stop the madness:

FOX News Channel
Comments@foxnews.com
1211 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10036
Phone: 1-888-369-4762

CNN
One CNN Center, Box 105366,
Atlanta, GA 30303-5366
Phone: 404-827-1500
Fax: 404-827-1906

CNN Headline News

Another School Shooting

Today there was a shooting at the campus of Northern Illinois University. Eighteen people were shot including the shooter who killed himself. Four of the victims are dead.

This is becoming ridiculous. For the past number of years, getting an education has become a risk. I'd like to know what was running through the mind of that monster.

More from AFP.

Pastor Manning Is at It Again: Jackass of Spades Edition

Shame = Birth Control?

This dude seems to think so.

Found this on Feministing:

Lawmaker: Shame on 'sluts'
By Associated Press

COLORADO SPRINGS — A state lawmaker used a derogatory term Wednesday to describe unmarried teen parents as sexually promiscuous and complained that society condones premarital sex.

"In my parents' day and age, (unmarried teen parents) were sent away, they were shunned, they were called what they are," Republican Rep. Larry Liston said during a GOP legislative caucus meeting in Denver. "There was at least a sense of shame."

Liston continued: "There's no sense of shame today. Society condones it ... I think it's wrong. They're sluts. And I don't mean just the women. I mean the men, too."

Rep. Stella Garza Hicks, who was at the meeting, said Liston should apologize.

"I feel that he owes the apology somewhere, whether it's to the same group that he spoke to before or someone else," she told The Gazette of Colorado Springs.

Garza Hicks, R-Colorado Springs, said she was "disturbed" and "offended" by the word but didn't confront Liston at the time because she was so surprised to hear him use it.

The Rocky's Capitol blogger today asked Liston if his mother would approve of his use of the word.

"Actually, my mother would agree with me," he said as he hurried to a committee hearing.

"Maybe I could have a used a different word, but I was frustrated," Liston said. "And that was the word that came to my mind, because in the old days, you know, it was frowned upon." (Source)

Old school scare tactics will not work and never really did. Shaming someone into obscurity doesn't even scratch the surface.

I think talking to your kids abou sex is very helpful. If you know your kids are having sex, teach them how to use contraception. The problem that I see with a lot of parents is that they feel that arming their kids with knowledge is encouragement. Not the case. If you feel it is, say "hello" to your future grandbabies because you are welcoming the possibility. Or worse, be ready to deal with your child contracting an STD/STI on YOUR WATCH.

Also, I think young girls need to be taught self-worth. Too many of these girls fall for the "I love you" crap. Boys need to be taught responsibility. Teenage pregnancy is not just the girl's problem. And I really wish parents would stop encouraging these boys to be sex-crazed animals. "Oh he's just sowing his wild oats." Yeah, sowing his oats and planting seeds along the way. Now, isn't that just cute?

Something that can accompany unwanted pregnancies are unwanted diseases. Both of them are preventable. My old high school is considered an STD factory and has a sizable HIV/AIDS population. And just imagine the number of them who have children. I know that population's grown since my graduation.

I hope that scares the hell out of parents cuz we CANNOT afford to be regressive and ashamed when dealing with today's youth.

Feminists Not Voting With Their Vaginas, Endorse Obama; My Two Cents

Feminist Leaders Oppose Hillary, Endorse Obama

Jon Weiner

More than 100 New York feminist leaders released a joint statement Sunday afternoon criticizing Hillary Clinton and supporting Obama for president - evidence that Clinton's support among women activists has declined significantly in the days before the super-Tuesday primary.

Clinton's support for the war in Iraq was the leading reason she lost the support of the group, which calls itself "New York Feminists for Peace and Barack Obama!" "We urgently need a presidential candidate whose first priority is to address domestic needs," the group added.
Those endorsing Obama include longtime peace activist Cora Weiss; Katha Pollitt, columnist for The Nation; Pulitzer-prize winning New York Times writer Margo Jefferson; award-winning women's rights historians Alice Kessler Harris and Linda Gordon; Barbara Weinstein, president of the American Historical Association, and Ellen P. Chapnick, Dean for Social Justice Initiatives at Columbia Law School.

"Choosing to support Senator Obama was not an easy decision for us," the group stated, "because electing a woman president would be a cause for celebration in itself." They "deplored" the "sexist attacks against Senator Clinton that have circulated in the media." But, they stated, they nevertheless supported Obama because his election "would be another historic achievement" and because "his support for gender equality has been unwavering."
The group based their opposition to Clinton on "her seven-year record as senator." Despite her recent pledges to remove troops from Iraq, the group stated, Clinton's "record of embracing military solutions and the foreign policy advisers she has selected make us doubt that she will end this calamitous war." (Source)

Here is the petition drawn by New York Feminists for Peace and Barack Obama.

Since Edwards dropped out of the race, I'm gonna go with Obama who was my second choice. I don't mean to make him out to be sloppy seconds, LOL! Contrary to the belief of some overzealous (White) liberal women and Black Billary supporters, I'm not voting for Obama because I'm Black. I prefer Obama because of what he stands for. He stands for change, he's new to the scene, he's not a war hawk, he's very in touch with the youth, and I appreciate his ideas on how he'd run our country.

I don't support Hillary because of

1. Her hawkish ways

2. Her filthy campaign that drips with race-baiting and distortions of Obama

3. Her shamelessness in running on the laurels of her husband

4. Her taking the Black vote for granted

5. Disrespecting and devaluing the contributions of Martin Luther King, and when you think about it, Coretta Scott King, Rosa Parks, Medgar Evers, Jesse Jackson, Andrew Young (he's too blinded by Bill's honorary Blackness to see her disrespect though), and countless others. My boss approves all of my projects so should I be discredited for all of the work I put in?

6. Some of her alliances (Bob "BET" Johnson, Charles Rangel)

7. Her telling Obama to renounce the support of certain people (David Geffen, Nevada unions' ads) while not addressing State Sen. Robert Ford (D-SC) for saying "It's a slim possibility for him to get the nomination, but then everybody else is doomed. Every Democrat running on that ticket next year would lose — because he's black and he's top of the ticket. We'd lose the House and the Senate and the governors and everything."

8. Her "desperate times call for desperate measures" tactics like using Obama's elementary school essays to indicate inconsistencies with his desire to be president

9. And last but not least, fuck another political dynasty. I am 26 years, so since my conception (LOL!), it's been Bush (Reagan), Bush (Reagan), Bush, Clinton, Clinton, Bush, and Bush. See the pattern? Who'll come after? Jeb and then Chelsea? NO THANK YOU.

Even though she said that she'll be the second Clinton to clean up the second Bush's mess, I don't believe it. And Slick Willy made a mess himself. Some even before he got into the Oval Office.

Remember

1. Troopergate (Gennifer Flowers)?

2. Sister Souljah (I mean, her name spawned a political lexeme)?

3. Lani Guinier?

4. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"?

5. Rwanda?

6. Kosovo?

7. Sexual harassment cases?

8. Mandatory sentencing?

9. Welfare reform?

10. The dreadful War on Drugs?

11. Zippergate?

12. Black Hawk Down?

13. Wet Foot/Dry Foot?

14. Whitewater?

Ummm ... that's not a good look so therefore, no to a co-presidency. Especially a bad one. Stop the madness.

Empty Talking Head

Taken from 23/6:

Let's give Dobbs the benefit of the doubt. How was he supposed to know that Council of Conservative Citizens was a white supremacist organization when he invited one of its members to appear on his show? When he gives verbal support to the Minutemen vigilantes, how is he supposed to know that many of them are shameless racists who threaten and maim illegal immigrants, knowing they can never report it to the cops? Lou Dobbs is not Santa. He can't be everywhere at once, so he can't possibly know what all of his contributors have to say about minorities when they're not on the air. (Source)

Some time last year, I watched a piece on 60 Minutes where they interviewed Lou Dobbs. You know the drill with these interviews --- delving into the subject's life story, having the viewer learn something new about him/her, and lastly humanizing him/her.

Of course the topic of Dobbs being an alleged bigot came up and he, of course, denied it. What also helped debunk (I guess it was supposed to help) that claim was introducing to the world his Mexican-American wife (shown in above pic). I just don't understand people like him and his wife.

Illegal immigration is facilitated by greed. How many people actually consider this? I have yet to hear one of these pundits blaming greedy employers for this problem. I understand that an influx of illegal immigrants can be a strain on the economy but vilifying them serves no purpose because the anger is misdirected.

And also consider the fact that these people are being taken advantage of due to their ignorance and due to the fact that they don't have any legal documentation.

Properly channel your anger. Don't patronize businesses that employ illegal immigrants. Make some real noise about it and contact your local politician. The large numbers of illegal immigrants crossing the border will diminish as soon as people properly channel their anger and start realizing who the real enemy is. It's all supply and demand.

Is There Some Kinda Birth Control Allergy?

About 80% of black babies are born to unwed moms

Report: These children face life with greater disadvantages. By Tim Evans

About eight in 10 black children in Indiana are born to unwed parents -- a start to life that sets them up for problems during adolescence and beyond, according to an Indiana Black Expo report.

Indiana's black youths fare significantly worse than Hoosier youths in general across 18 indicators of well-being, such as graduation rates and poverty levels, and do worse than black youths in the U.S, according to the report being released Friday.

Tanasha Anders, acting president and chief executive of Indiana Black Expo, said the problem comes down to education -- making sure young people finish school and understand the consequences of having a baby.

"Everything else is a domino effect," she said.

The explosion of births to unwed parents is driving many of the state's social problems, such as increases in poverty and child abuse and the growing cost of public aid, said Bill Stanczykiewicz, president and CEO of the Indiana Youth Institute. He added that the problem is not exclusive to any one race.

Indiana's out-of-wedlock birthrate is at an all-time high, with unwed mothers accounting for nearly 40 percent of all births, he said. Nationally, about 36 percent of all births are to unwed mothers. (Source)

There has to be something that can explain this out of control out-of-wedlock birth rate in the Black community. I know the article said that this problem in Indiana goes beyond race, but high out-of-wedlock births is a problem in our community. Obviously Black women make conservative choices and keep our unborn children, but why not opt for contraceptives? They're out there and they're for FREE at clinics and hospitals.

It still is a problem with the teenagers but now there's a rising young adult population who are becoming single parents. I've noticed that over the years as well, but what ever happened to wanting to make life easier for yourself? Parenting is hard but it's especially hard when it's one person that has to shoulder the load.

I just want to understand why a lot of women are opting to go it alone with parenting. I've heard it all: "Men ain't shit," "Just cuz you married don't mean he'll stick around," "I don't need no man," "Fathers aren't that important," & the other nonsense. There has to be something more. Is there a void? Is this generational (i. e., "My mother and my grandmother didn't need a man to raise their children?")?

I have a friend that always argues with me over my life decisions with regards to parenting. You see, I'm not ready to have children. I'm not married nor am I ready to be married, therefore, I'm not ready to be a mother. It's like she's dying to be a mother and wants to prove to herself and maybe the world that she can do it all. That's her prerogative but I know that I can use all the help I need. A child is a life-long commitment --- not some project for work with a deadline.

This friend of mine thinks that I'm making a big deal out of parenthood and that I think too much. Mind you, she has no children so only God knows where this wisdom comes from. Every parent I know tells me how difficult it is to raise a child. Especially on your own. They also say that I should live my life now while it's still my own. I'll take their sound advice.

When my time comes to be a mother, I want to be able to provide the best that I can for my child. That would include a two-parent household, a college savings, a good neighborhood for them to be raised in, a good school for them to go to, and everything they need. This is something that a lot of single moms don't consider. For the record, I'm not lumping them all together.

I understand that some relationships don't work. The death of your child's father can definitely play a role. Maybe the contraceptive you used failed. If single parenthood is the circumstance that you're dealt due to something completely out of your control, that's one thing. I just don't understand women who irresponsibly prolong or create generational poverty.

Spontaneity can be wonderful but not with the life of a child.

Should I Vote With My Vagina or Melanin Content?

Just about everyday there's some news report or poll interested in the voting habits of Black women. The attention we're getting is attributed to our alleged race vs. gender paradox regarding voting as a woman or voting as a Black person. This alleged conflict has been covered in The New York Times and CNN.

I can always appreciate the attention we receive from the media. Too often does the media paint us pathetically as a group. If you don't believe me, NBC Nightly News ran a series a while back that substantiates my claim.

What bothers me about the attention Black women are receiving is that, per usual, the media depicts us as group thinkers. The only difference this time around is that we're not one-dimensional --- we are now Black and woman. We are two separate entities in the same body who are supposedly confused as to whether we should vote for the woman or the Black dude. We couldn't possibly be a complex group who determines the best candidate by his/her credentials, scruples, ideas, and voting record. We are a shallow group with equally shallow choices to make with regards to politics.

I have yet to meet one Black woman that is conflicted on choosing between Obama and Hillary on the grounds that they're sellouts no matter who they choose. Absolute nonsense. I know there are some people out there that want Black women to choose a candidate based on her race or gender but this situation is not as alarming as the media suggests.

Here are my suggestions for the media, HIllary supporters, and Obama supporters:
- Black women are adults who can decide what's best for them so stop telling us what to do. We can really do without the guilt trips levelled against us by your self-serving agenda.

- Message to the media: Quit blowing things out of proportion. You can't do your research at one hair salon and conclude that Black women are conflicted off of the strength of a few conflicted women. It just isn't a fair assessment to make and it looks like sloppy journalism. Give us the same respect that you give our racial counterparts. They're never depicted as anything other than diverse so why not afford us the same favor?

- NEWS FLASH: Black women go to work, houses of worship, college, the supermarket, and the mall. We are also members of organizations and can be found on the street heading somewhere. We don't only exchange ideas when we're at Ree Ree's Cut It Up getting our hair did y'know.

No Oprah! You're Supposed to Vote With Your Gender, Not Your Race

I found this article on Times Online

Women turn on ‘traitor’ Oprah Winfrey for backing Barack Obama

Oprah fans leave a barrage of negative messages on her official website in response to the talk show host's support of Obama

AMERICA’S favourite television presenter is paying a painful price for her intervention in the US presidential campaign last month. Oprah Winfrey has been dubbed a “traitor” by some of her female fans for supporting Barack Obama instead of Hillary Clinton.

Winfrey’s website, Oprah.com, has been flooded with a barrage of abuse since the queen of daytime chat shows joined Obama on a tour of Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina in mid-December.

Her intervention was widely credited with broadening Obama’s national appeal - especially among women - and with helping him to an upset victory over Clinton in the first vote of the election year in Iowa.

et a backlash by Clinton supporters appears to have prompted a rethink by Winfrey, the African-American media titan who is routinely described as the most influential woman on television.

She did not reappear in the final days before the New Hampshire primary - which Obama lost to Clinton - and has been absent from the most recent campaigning in South Carolina, which votes next weekend.

Obama aides believe that Winfrey will return to the campaign. Her own staff noted last week that in addition to her daily broadcasts on television and satellite radio, she has also been busy negotiating a multi-million-dollar deal with the Discovery cable network to create her own television channel, the Oprah Winfrey Network.

Yet Obama’s rivals suspect that Winfrey has been startled by the virulent reaction to her previous campaign appearance.

It started with a message on her website entitled “Oprah is a traitor” and rapidly expanded to include several discussions that attracted hundreds of comments.

In the original post, a reader called austaz68 said she “cannot believe that women all over this country are not up in arms over Oprah’s backing of Obama. For the first time in history we actually have a shot at putting a woman in the White House and Oprah backs the black MAN. She’s choosing her race over her gender.”

In a subsequent comment, 2nurselady wrote: “I don’t think Oprah is a ‘traitor’, but I do think she may be alienating a lot of her fans.”

Others have accused Winfrey of racism for siding with Obama when such a well qualified woman as Clinton was running.

Winfrey has built her career on empathising with women’s issues and offering a daily diet of redemption and hope. Her show typically focuses on women who have suffered but survived.

So hostile has the response been that some suspect dirty tricks. “All the rude and hateful messages on here can’t be from Oprah fans,” another visitor noted. “Someone’s campaign (wonder who?) is sabotaging the message boards.”

Winfrey received a rapturous reception when she campaigned with Obama last month. Yet several analysts warned that she might adversely affect his chances.

Steve Ross, a history professor at the University of Southern California, said: “The moment a star opens their mouth and endorses one candidate, they alienate half their viewership.”

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/us_elections/article3216586.ece


It was only a matter of time before the forced race vs. gender paradox hit home with Oprah. What took these crazed idiots so long to attack her? I was expecting a "Down With the Oprah" campaign to converge as soon as Oprah announced her support for Obama.

There are things that I want to understand as an American citizen (who has the right to her independent decisions) and as a Black woman who's seldomly seen as both a Black and woman.

Now why doesn't Oprah have the right to lend support to whom she wishes? Why are these women making the argument that Oprah should've chosen gender or race? Is Oprah not Black and a woman? Why should she have to choose between her race and her gender? Why are these women voting with emotions versus logic in the first place? Why are Black women being told what to do as if we can't make any healthy decisions of our own?

If Oprah were supporting Billary versus Obama, then a large number of the Black community would've been up in arms calling her a race traitor. Absolute nonsense. Black women just can't win.

The Black woman has only a single identity & it's both Black and woman. We shouldn't have to choose to satisfy anyone's self-serving agenda.

I know other women of color go through this forced paradox of being of such and such community and being a woman. You're more than welcome to share your thoughts.

Jackass of Spades: Pastor Manning is CRAZY

Crazed churchfolk shouldn't be tax exempt.

"Obama Got a White Mama"



I can just imagine the number of biracial people that attend this church.


"Pastor Manning Says Creflo Dollar is a Times Square Pimp"




You've got nerve Black man. You've got nerve. WTF does Anna Nicole Smith have to do with anything? Brothaman is tossing around vulgarities left and right.

Whatever he's smoking, lemme get some of that!