I wish I knew the origin of the pic. I'd gotten this in an e-mail and it said nothing about where it came from.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Obama Prayer
I wish I knew the origin of the pic. I'd gotten this in an e-mail and it said nothing about where it came from.
Monday, July 7, 2008
The Black Female Has No Value As Per the Black Community
http://www.blackamericaweb.com/site.aspx/bawnews/kellyverdictreaction616
I was really disturbed by the not guilty verdict of the R. Kelly trial. Now that I think about it, I was more disturbed by the lack of regard for the Black girls that he preyed upon. The lack of regard is indicative of our community's feelings towards Black females --- we are to be treated with total disregard and to be disposed of as absolute trash. Isn't it strange how that same sentiment is shared by some members of the White community with regards to Blacks as a collective?
Where does this resentment come from? Does it come from the fear of sending another brotha to jail? Does it come from the satisfaction of mistreating people because of what you've been dealt? Is this behavior reflective of a poor mother and son relationship? And where are their fathers for the proper guidance? Why is there a special love for slut culture in our community? Why is this type of behavior acceptable?
"The Black man doesn't belong in jail."
I can accept that. It's not the Black man's destiny to be ex-cons. I don't care what those garbage rap songs say. I don't care about that false sense of manhood that's embraced by far too many in the 'hood. We are not supposed to be useless members of society. Walking the path of lawlessness is not what's hot in the long run. So when it's said that the Black man doesn't belong in jail, I can accept that. But what about the knucklehead that needs to be properly reprimanded? What about closure for the victims and their families? Whatever happened to preserving the quality of life of your environment and wanting something better for the little shorties coming up in the world?
I understand the origins of the Stop Snitching movement but we're only hurting ourselves. The law-abiding and the lawless shouldn't have to coexist. My safety shouldn't have to be compromised over some bullshit solidarity for degenerates. Fuck that.
Sexism as a Reaction to Racism.
The Black woman has two strikes working against her. For whatever reason, a lot of Black men don't wanna acknowledge it cuz they'd rather engage in a contest over adversities. It's understood that brothas have got it hard due to racism and I'd never pretend that it doesn't exist. But please, understand that we too have it hard as we are dealing with both racism and sexism on the daily. Don't trivialize our pain as you wouldn't appreciate that being done to you. Support, like respect, is a two-way street.
Is Momma to Blame? Yup. And So Are Absentee Dads.
The pattern that I see with a lot of men these days is this reluctance to man up. I think this problem is enabled by their mothers' unwillingness to cut the cord or their mothers are expecting them to automatically know everything as if children don't come into the world with a clean slate. What also enables this problem is the uninvolved father who wasn't there to properly groom their boys into decent human beings.
I see it all the time when a mother's going "Not my baby. My baby wouldn't do that." Or they're coddling their sons from much needed reprimand for their wrongdoing. Mothers also don't give their sons enough responsibility (e.g., chores), like to cut them a lot of slack (e.g., lax curfews), and they also have low expectations of their sons (e.g., "At least he ain't out running in the streets."). Why is that supposed to be OK? And why aren't Black girls afforded the same treatment? What makes us so bad that we aren't given a pass for the same things Black boys do?
Now, absentee fathers do not help this situation at all. Being uninvolved in the development of a boy does serious damage. The boy feels like no one cares about him, there's no real male role model for him, and this all feeds into him becoming an uncaring, irresponsible man.
Because of those problems it's fundamental that a child is raised by both parents. It's especially helpful that both parents be well-adjusted. I can't stand the large number of immature people having children. It grinds the hell out of my gears.
The Love of Slut Culture.
Slut culture has been around for eons. But since the mid 90s, the culture has been on steroids. There isn't a day where you don't see a Black music video with a girl gyrating her hips while being scantily clad. I hate those videos because they always feature Black (or partially Black) women. This isn't how I like to see us represented to the world. I especially hate those videos because they're targeted to children. These kids can't decipher between real and make-believe so why is it acceptable for them to watch those garbage videos?
I don't want little Black girls thinking that all they have to offer are their bodies. I don't want little Black girls to not build on their intellect. I know some people will say "People should raise their own damned kids." Well guess what? A large number of people aren't raising their own damned kids. Should those parentless children fend for themselves and go the wayward path so that people can feel guilt-free when they're "stepping in the name of love?" Aren't those kids worthy of protection and guidance? Of course not. It's perfectly acceptable for young girls to deviate into Black girls lost looking for love and attention in the absolute worst places because no one cares to put them on the right path, nurture them, and teach them that they're beautiful no matter their hair texture or skin tone. It's perfectly acceptable for Black girls to engage in risky behaviors when they're already the largest group of STD carriers.
The Black female has been turned into a malcontent and that's an accepted notion in our community. And this isn't an indictment against Black men. They're not alone in throwing the Black female under the bus. It takes the apathy or full acceptance from Black women to realize such a notion as well.
It boggles my mind that these sellouts are jumping over each other to absolve R. Kelly and his ilk of any crime against Black girls. They've even got the gall to quote The Bible. The consensus from the intellectuals of the Essence.com reader comments section is "Only God should judge." Man, shut the fuck up! That is absolute bullshit when applied to a SERIAL STATUTORY RAPIST. What business does a grown-ass man have fucking a 14-year-old GIRL? What business does that same dirtbag have marrying a 15-year-old GIRL? What business does that man have hanging around the Rock and Roll McDonald's on prom night? What business does that man have hanging around Kenwood Academy? There's no exemption to be applied when examining despicable behavior. I mean, what will it take for members of our community to cut this nigga loose? If there were boys on that sex tape, would that do the trick?
Why Is This Behavior Acceptable?
I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around the accepted disdain for the Black female. After all of what's been mentioned earlier I just can't accept that it's OK or deem it understandable to reject the Black female the way that our community has. All we've ever done is repeatedly assume the role of foot soldier and sacrificial lamb. Perhaps it is that type of selflessness that is causing this problem.
Angela Davis has a great quote about society and sexism and I'd like to end this piece with it: "To understand how any society functions you must understand the relationship between the men and the women."
Please sign the petition in the column, Black Men Against Exploitation of Black Women.
Monday, May 5, 2008
What If Hillary Loses? A Question for White Women
I was over at Concrete Loop reading "What Happens If Obama Loses?" and it brought up an article from the McClatchy Washington Bureau.
The third reader comment noted how annoying this question is, queried if the same question was raised about (White) women staying home if Hillary loses, and said that they wouldn't stay home. I'm gonna have to agree on this one.
I am pretty annoyed with this line of questioning. Is there a purpose for this article cuz I don't understand how the premise leans toward being informative. Why the interest in what a group of people would do if their chosen candidate loses the nomination? This article (one of far too many) seems to only be interested in influencing people. I really hate the interest in Black people because this same line of questioning can be raised for White women, White men, and etc.
What do you guys think? Considering the fact that White women are a significant voting bloc, why isn't the same question being asked of them if Hillary loses? Does either question annoy you? Is this topic even news-worthy?
Must-Read Links:
POLITICS: WHAT HAPPENS IF OBAMA LOSES?
Will black voters stay home if Obama loses nomination?
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Black Male Progress Determined by Black Female Standards--- Is This an Accepted Concept?
Our comments comes from a blog entry that deals with a woman having to deal with past mistakes yet is moving forward with her life.
Here's the comment made by a male poster:
I agree everyone did make bad choices but ATTENTION BLACK WOMEN in the last 20 years you have ran shit! Its sad and I'm a black man. But you all are in a position of power right now. With everythig going on with the Black Man right now it is up to you now to lead and to be an example for us now. If you hold yourself to a certain standard it will force us to raise the bar. Think about it if most females made it a point that they wasn't messing with niggas unless they had a college education or a diploma of higher education of some sorts you would see a lot more cats going to school. Its a shame that's our motivation or their motivation but it's true. Instead you want that baller you want that drug dealer you want this guy that's giving you all the intimacy but nothing intellectually and then at the end of the day wonder why you are in the situation you are in. LADIES raise the bar!!!
My response to his post:
I agree that there are Black women with low standards but why can't misguided Black man set their own bar? Do Black men not have their own minds? Who's setting the bar for Black women? We don't need anything but a fucked-up situation (or someone else's) to put us on the right path.
Since statistics suggest that Black women are wise enough to take their lives by the reigns (i.e., employment, education), why can't Black men follow suit? It seems like you wanna absolve lazy bums of any wrongdoings and excuse them for creating their own shitty lives. They need to learn discipline and personal responsibility.
And the quality of your life shouldn't be geared towards gaining attention from the opposite sex. Anyone that lives like that doesn't have that much to live for.
I think there's something strange and terribly wrong with asserting that weak-minded men will follow suit if we (Black women) raise our standards. That is a cop-out. Whatever happened to personal responsibility? Personal responsibility is always demanded of Black women. We can't get away with being fuck-ups. Also, the male poster seems to forget that Black women have already taken the role of leadership. Statistics have shown that an overwhelming majority of Black children are raised by single mothers. If being a dual parent isn't leadership, I don't know what is.
Also, let's call this problem for what it is --- baby boyism. Boys and girls are raised differently. Boys tend to be coddled a lot more than girls are. Girls tend to be expected to act responsibly. Both parties go out into the real world and the young man is ill-equipped.
Black women that are on the right track didn't need a man to raise the bar in order for us to know that we needed to get our lives in order. Normally, it takes being tired of bad predicaments to set us straight. Why would someone suggest that Black men needed more than a reality check? Also, the want for change should be genuine and not about fuckability. Change because you hate being useless. Change because you want to stand on your own two. Change because you have goals to set and accomplish. Change shouldn't be centered around gaining the attention of that hardworking woman that wouldn't give you the time of day.
Please let me know if I'm missing something because I'd like to know why personal responsibility is unpopular.
Sidebar:
The male poster's last sentence was on point.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Anti-Snitches Caught Dry Snitching
Source
It's amazing and disappointing how the disregard for life is so damned popular. Cooperating with authorities and not giving degenerates the license to destroy lives = dumb move to the feeble-minded. Too many stupid people spawn and leave the world to deal with their garbage because they don't wanna raise their kids. I'm scared for the future.
Black Folks' Fears Legitimized
Every candidate should receive an adequate amount of security but it should completely understood why Obama's been issued Secret Service protection. That's old news but that picture warrants a healthy fear.
I still don't feel that people should fear voting for him if he's their ideal candidate. You're only doing yourself a disservice by strengthening mind control.
Check out Reading the Pictures: Obama's Security --- A Little Too Much Hush
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Hillary Defends Bill Against Racist Accusations
Clinton Defends Husband on Racial Issues
By BETH FOUHY
NEW ORLEANS (AP) — Hillary Rodham Clinton strongly defended her husband's record on civil rights Saturday at a forum in which she acknowledged "painful moments" in a presidential contest pitting the first woman candidate against a pioneering black contender.
At the annual State of the Black Union conference hosted by PBS's Tavis Smiley, Clinton pushed back hard on the notion that Bill Clinton had inflamed racial tensions while campaigning for her in the run-up to South Carolina's primary last month.
The former president — once so popular among black voters he was dubbed the first black president by novelist Toni Morrison — harshly criticized Barack Obama in South Carolina, producing a backlash among blacks that helped lead to his wife's crushing defeat there.
After that primary, the former president angered many by suggesting Obama had won the state simply because he was a black candidate campaigning in a state with a large number of black voters. Since then, Clinton has badly lost the black vote to Obama in every primary or caucus — including Louisiana's earlier this month.
Obama won Louisiana's primary by a margin of 57 percent to 36 percent — one of 11 straight victories over Clinton since Super Tuesday Feb. 5.
Questioned by Smiley about her husband's efforts in South Carolina, the former first lady said many of the 5,000 people attending Saturday's conference were personally acquainted with the former president and that they "know his heart."
She noted that the former president has made racial reconciliation a key part of his public life. Whether Clinton would apologize on behalf of America for slavery was a question that bubbled throughout a 1998 trip to Africa. He did not, but rather discussed — in a carefully calibrated approach — the wounds that slavery caused. Clinton did formally apologize to the Tuskegee, Ala., men left untreated for syphilis in a federal study exposed 25 years earlier.
"Most of my African-American friends and advisors don't believe that we should get into what was essentially a press story about whether there should be an apology for slavery in America," he said in a magazine interview a few days before the trip. "They think that that's what the 13th, 14th and 15th Amendment was; they think that's what the civil rights legislation was, and they think we need to be looking toward the future."
Speaking broadly of Bill Clinton on matters of race, she said: "My husband mended, so as to avoid ending, affirmative action. My husband had in his White House, Cabinet, and his administration, many of you I see here. We know that when he was president, we had a rising tide and we lifted more people out of poverty than at any time in America's recent history."
Source
Yeah, OK. Whatever Hill. I don't believe that the Clintons are racists but they are desperate and will do anything to win and that is not endearing.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Tavis Says It Would be Inappropriate for Michelle Obama to Attend SOTBU. Ummm... Why Would It?
From The Root:
Who Died and Made Tavis King?
By Melissa Harris-Lacewell
Who put Tavis Smiley in charge?
Over the past two months African Americans have emerged as equal partners in a multi-racial, intergenerational, bipartisan, national coalition led by the most exciting political candidate of the past four decades, who also happens to be the first viable African-American presidential possibility in our history. So why is Tavis Smiley throwing a temper tantrum?
He is mad because Obama has not promised to attend Smiley's "State of the Black Union" next week in New Orleans. At last year's SOTBU Al Sharpton, Cornel West and others joined Tavis is roundly criticizing Obama for not attending. Where was Barack that weekend? Oh yeah, he was announcing his bid for the U.S. presidency. This year, Obama is busy trying to win Texas, which has emerged as the firewall state for the Hillary Clinton campaign. Obama wins Texas; Hillary goes home. But Tavis & Co. think Obama should spend precious hours chatting with them about their agenda?
(Jimi Izrael wondered the same thing about him and the other Popes of Blackness.) Let me be clear: I respect the importance of the SOTBU. Tavis performs an essential public service by creating and reproducing a critical black counter-public through this event. The event is decidedly democratic because it is open to a true variety of black voices. Every year it showcases black intellect, commitment and ideological diversity. All this is great, but it doesn't make Tavis the gatekeeper. It certainly doesn't give him the right to act as King-Maker, or in this case Queen-Maker.
Tavis and his guests have every right to criticize Obama if they have substantive disagreements with his policy, his approach to politics or his viability as a general election candidate. They do not have a right to create a false, racial litmus test. All these black leaders who spent the year telling us that Obama is not old enough, not black enough and not angry enough to earn African American votes must have noticed that Obama can deliver the black vote to himself, by himself, with little help from these self-proclaimed racial power brokers.
I can't quite figure out what motivates Tavis. At least I understand the old guard Civil Rights leaders. They are genuinely unwilling to cede power, believing that they have an authenticity claim based on their proximity to Martin Luther King, Jr. I also understand the frightened Democratic insiders who rely on the remnants of the Clinton machine for their bread and butter. But Tavis is not in either category. He is a part of a new generation of journalists who have carved out their own constituency. I am actually surprised to see Smiley join a pile-on led by his former boss Bob Johnson, who tried to silence him with such an ungracious termination a decade ago.
Source
I would love to hear Tavis address this. Why exactly wouldn't it be "appropriate" for Michelle Obama to attend?
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Free Online Multimedia Resources for February
Free Black History Month Multimedia Resources Available Online for Parents and Teachers
BALTIMORE, Feb 11, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- Connections Academy(R: 58.72, -0.03, -0.05%) (CA: 24.25, -0.02, -0.08%), a leading national operator of high quality, highly accountable virtual public schools, is offering parents and teachers a wealth of free multimedia educational resources to celebrate Black History Month. The curricular resources, developed for Connections Academy's recent celebration of the 19th Annual African American Read-In, will be available free of charge to parents and educators for the entire month of February, Black History Month.
These multimedia materials will engage, entertain and educate students and parents alike, and include selections appropriate for students in all grades. Parents and educators are encouraged to visit http://www.connectionsacademy.com/community/ncteReadIn.asp for the free educational resources. (Source)
Friday, February 8, 2008
HIV Infections Growing Among Blacks
And HIV/AIDS was the number one cause of death for black women between the ages of 25 to 34 in 2005, the latest year for which the CDC has numbers.
Feb. 7 is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. A group of local women formed the Association of Informed and Dedicated Sisters to encourage women to get tested and to protect themselves.
Linda Holland, nurse manager at the Bibb County Health Department, says many women are infected by their husbands or boyfriends. (Source)
Please get tested people. It's better to know now and manage your disease than to find out later when it's too late.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
50 Cent Endorses Hillary, Thinks Obama Might Be Killed
By Garth Bardsley, with additional reporting by Gil Kaufman
On "The O'Reilly Factor" Monday night, Bill O'Reilly showed footage of 50 Cent giving his endorsement to Hillary Clinton. "I just think she could do a good job," said the rapper, who added that he has nothing against Barack Obama but thinks America isn't ready for an African-American president. "I think they might kill him," he said.
Late last year, 50 spoke in favor of the former first lady to Rap Up magazine, among other outlets. "I'd like to see Hillary Clinton be president," he said. "It would be nice to see a woman be the actual president and ... this is a way for us to have Bill Clinton be president again, and he did a great job during his term."
Interesting Email About Obama and Hillary
by Stephen Pizzo January 15, 2008
That was then. Now, 150 years later, we're watching a similar drama play out on the political stage.
The same week Hillary dropped that bomb husband Bill took his own swipe, describing the Obama phenomena "the biggest fantasy I've ever seen."
The Clintons realized that they were losing their grip on a constituency they believed they owned. So Hillary quickly put her remaining black supporters front and center to put a black face back on the Clinton campaign, and to defend both her and Bill from the black backlash their remarks last week caused.
Black Entertainment Televsions Founder Slams ObamaCOLUMBIA, S.C. — Robert L. Johnson, the founder of Black Entertainment Television, who is campaigning today in South Carolina with Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, just made a suggestion that raised the specter of Barack Obama’s past drug use. -- And to me, as an African-American, I am frankly insulted that the Obama campaign would imply that we are so stupid that we would think Hillary and Bill Clinton, who have been deeply and emotionally involved in black issues since Barack Obama was doing something in the neighborhood – and I won’t say what he was doing, but he said it in the book – when they have been involved.” (
During those remarks -- which, had they made by a white businessman, would have caused a monumental uproar -- Hillary Clinton sat on stage expressionless. Had she disagreed with the thrust of Johnson's remarks she could have disassociated herself from them. But she didn't. Instead, when he was done she applauded and hugged him.
And why not. After all, he, a successful black man, had just reinforced the subliminal message her campaign would not dare articulate itself. A message that went something like this:
-360 While blacks have moved into the American mainstream, they largely have white Democrats, like Hillary and Bill, to thank for it.
Many pundits wondered why the Clintons would risk alienating the black community on the eve of the South Carolina primary with their slaps at MLK and Obama. Others suggested that Bill told Hillary she needed her own Sister Soulja moment to show white voters, particularly in South Carolina, that she is not in the pocket of African-American interest groups.
And, in the process, also rekindle white working class fear and resentment towards a black candidate. Such a tactic might also appeal to the now disaffected working class Reagan Democrats who, after years of being screwed blue by the GOP were looking for a "safe" Democrat to vote for next November.
So last week the Clintons pulled out all the stops, sending their surrogates out to spread their subliminal-message attacks against Obama. Democratic New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo waded in on Hillary's behalf last week as well, using language that could hardly have been accidental from a guy whose father is one of America's great orators:
"It's not a TV crazed race. Frankly you can't buy your way into it," Cuomo said, according to Albany Times Union reporter Rick Karlin. "You can't shuck and jive at a press conference," he added. "All those moves you can make with the press don't work when you're in someone's living room."
"Shuck and jive" is a term once used to describe blacks behaving innocently in the presence of an white authority figures, so as to lie and get out of trouble.
(Irony alert: Of course Hillary Clinton is married to the biggest shuck and jive artist ever to grace the Oval Office -- as displayed in his greatest hits -- "Now listen to me. I did NOT have sex with that woman...." and the all time classic -- "it depends what the meaning of 'is' is." It's a political art form Hillary herself is no stranger to. Just ask her to explain her vote to give George W. the right to attack Iraq and her more recent vote on Iran if you want to hear some world class shucking and jiving. But I digress.)
-360 Repeatedly chant "he's not ready."
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Feminists Not Voting With Their Vaginas, Endorse Obama; My Two Cents
Jon Weiner
More than 100 New York feminist leaders released a joint statement Sunday afternoon criticizing Hillary Clinton and supporting Obama for president - evidence that Clinton's support among women activists has declined significantly in the days before the super-Tuesday primary.
Clinton's support for the war in Iraq was the leading reason she lost the support of the group, which calls itself "New York Feminists for Peace and Barack Obama!" "We urgently need a presidential candidate whose first priority is to address domestic needs," the group added.
Those endorsing Obama include longtime peace activist Cora Weiss; Katha Pollitt, columnist for The Nation; Pulitzer-prize winning New York Times writer Margo Jefferson; award-winning women's rights historians Alice Kessler Harris and Linda Gordon; Barbara Weinstein, president of the American Historical Association, and Ellen P. Chapnick, Dean for Social Justice Initiatives at Columbia Law School.
The group based their opposition to Clinton on "her seven-year record as senator." Despite her recent pledges to remove troops from Iraq, the group stated, Clinton's "record of embracing military solutions and the foreign policy advisers she has selected make us doubt that she will end this calamitous war." (Source)
I don't support Hillary because of
1. Her hawkish ways
2. Her filthy campaign that drips with race-baiting and distortions of Obama
3. Her shamelessness in running on the laurels of her husband
4. Her taking the Black vote for granted
5. Disrespecting and devaluing the contributions of Martin Luther King, and when you think about it, Coretta Scott King, Rosa Parks, Medgar Evers, Jesse Jackson, Andrew Young (he's too blinded by Bill's honorary Blackness to see her disrespect though), and countless others. My boss approves all of my projects so should I be discredited for all of the work I put in?
6. Some of her alliances (Bob "BET" Johnson, Charles Rangel)
7. Her telling Obama to renounce the support of certain people (David Geffen, Nevada unions' ads) while not addressing State Sen. Robert Ford (D-SC) for saying "It's a slim possibility for him to get the nomination, but then everybody else is doomed. Every Democrat running on that ticket next year would lose — because he's black and he's top of the ticket. We'd lose the House and the Senate and the governors and everything."
8. Her "desperate times call for desperate measures" tactics like using Obama's elementary school essays to indicate inconsistencies with his desire to be president
9. And last but not least, fuck another political dynasty. I am 26 years, so since my conception (LOL!), it's been Bush (Reagan), Bush (Reagan), Bush, Clinton, Clinton, Bush, and Bush. See the pattern? Who'll come after? Jeb and then Chelsea? NO THANK YOU.
Even though she said that she'll be the second Clinton to clean up the second Bush's mess, I don't believe it. And Slick Willy made a mess himself. Some even before he got into the Oval Office.
Remember
1. Troopergate (Gennifer Flowers)?
2. Sister Souljah (I mean, her name spawned a political lexeme)?
3. Lani Guinier?
4. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"?
5. Rwanda?
6. Kosovo?
7. Sexual harassment cases?
8. Mandatory sentencing?
9. Welfare reform?
10. The dreadful War on Drugs?
11. Zippergate?
12. Black Hawk Down?
13. Wet Foot/Dry Foot?
Sunday, February 3, 2008
African American Lives 2
This is the second installment of the popular PBS series that delves into the family history of each of its participants. This year's participants are
Linda Johnson-Rice - President and CEO of Johnson Publishing Co., Inc.
Don Cheadle - Award-winning actor
Chris Rock - Award-winning comedian, actor, screenwriter, producer, and director
Tom Joyner - Nationally syndicated radio host
Peter Gomes - Minister and Harvard theologian
Maya Angelou - World-renowned and award-winning poet
Morgan Freeman - Award-winning actor, producer, and director
Jackie Joyner-Kersee - World-class Olympian
Tina Turner - Rock and Roll icon
Kathleen Henderson - One of over 2000 applicants selected to partake in the program
Bliss Broyard - Best-selling author and freelance writer
African American Lives 2 premieres Wednesday, February 6 at 9PM ET. Check your local listings. Be sure to also click on "Programs A-Z" for more programs for the month of February.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
When Properly Channeling Your Anger Works
A whole week later, The Independent has offered two apologies:
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Is There Some Kinda Birth Control Allergy?
About eight in 10 black children in Indiana are born to unwed parents -- a start to life that sets them up for problems during adolescence and beyond, according to an Indiana Black Expo report.
There has to be something that can explain this out of control out-of-wedlock birth rate in the Black community. I know the article said that this problem in Indiana goes beyond race, but high out-of-wedlock births is a problem in our community. Obviously Black women make conservative choices and keep our unborn children, but why not opt for contraceptives? They're out there and they're for FREE at clinics and hospitals.
It still is a problem with the teenagers but now there's a rising young adult population who are becoming single parents. I've noticed that over the years as well, but what ever happened to wanting to make life easier for yourself? Parenting is hard but it's especially hard when it's one person that has to shoulder the load.
I just want to understand why a lot of women are opting to go it alone with parenting. I've heard it all: "Men ain't shit," "Just cuz you married don't mean he'll stick around," "I don't need no man," "Fathers aren't that important," & the other nonsense. There has to be something more. Is there a void? Is this generational (i. e., "My mother and my grandmother didn't need a man to raise their children?")?
I have a friend that always argues with me over my life decisions with regards to parenting. You see, I'm not ready to have children. I'm not married nor am I ready to be married, therefore, I'm not ready to be a mother. It's like she's dying to be a mother and wants to prove to herself and maybe the world that she can do it all. That's her prerogative but I know that I can use all the help I need. A child is a life-long commitment --- not some project for work with a deadline.
This friend of mine thinks that I'm making a big deal out of parenthood and that I think too much. Mind you, she has no children so only God knows where this wisdom comes from. Every parent I know tells me how difficult it is to raise a child. Especially on your own. They also say that I should live my life now while it's still my own. I'll take their sound advice.
When my time comes to be a mother, I want to be able to provide the best that I can for my child. That would include a two-parent household, a college savings, a good neighborhood for them to be raised in, a good school for them to go to, and everything they need. This is something that a lot of single moms don't consider. For the record, I'm not lumping them all together.
I understand that some relationships don't work. The death of your child's father can definitely play a role. Maybe the contraceptive you used failed. If single parenthood is the circumstance that you're dealt due to something completely out of your control, that's one thing. I just don't understand women who irresponsibly prolong or create generational poverty.
Spontaneity can be wonderful but not with the life of a child.
Monday, January 28, 2008
The Root: A Nice Contribution From The Wash Post
This online 'zine is geared towards Black Americans and will touch on topics such as current events, politics, race, and ancestry research. HBO's a founding sponsor. Check it out: http://www.theroot.com/

