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Monday, April 14, 2008

Do You Or Someone You Know Suffer From Catty Bitch Disease?

There's gonna be a shift in my blog's theme which seems to be too political. Originally when I started this blog, it was about letting off frustration about what's happening in the world and touching on things of interest. I was also supposed to be discussing things going on in my world and I haven't done that yet. So today, I'll start by blogging about something that has been pissing me off for years but has finally come full circle in the last couple of months due to a friendship I have with someone.

Since this is my blog, I'm gonna speak my piece in plain fucking English about what I find to be the ugliest quality that I've found in the majority of the women that I've come to know --- cattiness. I cannot stand a catty bitch. I think catty bitches are oh so miserable human beings. These tend to be their symptoms with examples that I've had to painfully suffer through:

Gossip Mongers
- The Catty One (TCO) calls me at my (office) desk to gossip about a female coworker lacking class because she's dressed in clothing representing her fave sports team. TCO expects me to care for some strange reason. I said "Maybe she's going to the bar or someone's house to watch the game.

TCO says "I would never dress that way no matter how much I love a sports team. That's so low class? Don't you think?" *Sighs* I hate that question because do you really give a shit about what I think? You've got your mind made up so do you need my 2 cents?

So I answered, "I don't know what to say.

"Well, I guess class isn't something that everyone's born with or can learn."

Silence on my end of the phone.

"Well I'll let you get back to work."

- TCO, a coworker, and I were discussing Spitzer's scandal and TCO revealed to us that one of our coworkers (a friend of hers BTW) has been in marriage counseling for over a decade. Ummm... Why do I need to know this? She coulda said "I know people that have been in marriage counseling for years."

(Playa) Hates
- TCO complains about how a female coworker doesn't dress professionally and how if it were her company, she wouldn't tolerate that. She also said "People may think she's a bimbo. Doesn't she care what people think? My old boss has zero tolerance for that." Mind you, the gossip victim (GV) has just received a promotion and raise which means her boss isn't all that bothered by how she dresses. Then again, he's a man (LOL). But in all seriousness, the GV dresses casual versus business casual which is the dress code (that maybe a one third of the company follows) and happens to be very good at her job (web development). I've heard of the GV rocking tops with cut-outs on the side and all this other stuff, but for some strange reason, I don't happen to give a fuck. I mean, ol' girl's always been cool with me. Why should I pop shit about her?

Obsessively Overanalyzes, Judges, and Criticizes
- One of our coworkers has just been diagnosed with heart disease. TCO calls to tell me about it and I actually don't mind cuz I was wondering how the GV was feeling cuz she hasn't been back to work yet. TCO asks me in uber-annoying amazement "Do young people get heart disease?"

I answer "Yes. I heard of a 13-year-old getting it years ago on the news. Usually bad eating habits, stress, or both can trigger it."

"Well I can see how she got it considering that she's always eating from the Dollar Menu at McDonald's..." and then proceeds to go on about the GV never being able to afford better foods.

I was like "I gotta go" and hung up. *SMH* I don't speak on someone's finances but my own. If someone's always buying from the Dollar Menu, I'd safely assume that they're tight on money. Also, I'd consider the GV's stress level considering that she's a single parent who was very unhappy with her job at one point.

Believes That Denial's a River in Egypt
- TCO actually believes that she's down to earth. How is that even possible when all she levels at others are superficial critiques? Plus, she's a wannabe elitist (she lacks the adequate finances to be an actual one). People have to know when they're guilty of something. Especially when they're around people that don't exhibit the same behaviors. I can't go for the "I didn't realize that I was this way" excuse. That's crap.

Is Two-Faced
- TCO talks about everyone. Including those that she seemingly likes and gets along with. I can only assume that I'm not exempt from her critiques. There was an instance where she said to me "Oh you like everybody" when I didn't care to join her in ragging on everybody and they momma. I said "Well, I work with these people and I'd rather get along with them for the time that I spend here."

So, what do you suppose is the cure for this disease? Getting a self-esteem? Getting a life? Combination of both? No, seriously, I wanna know cuz something in this picture is definitely lacking. For someone to always pop shit about everybody everyday is telling a lot about that individual.

My Decision
What I've decided to do is keep TCO at a distance. I can't deal with somebody so miserable with her life cuz it really affects me. This is the reason why I've always had problems with women. The fakeness, lack of trustworthiness, lack of genuine sisterhood --- something was always lacking.

And I especially hate the male-centeredness of some women. It begets jealousy ("Bitch think she cute"), pointless competition (Why do some of us feel the need to size each other up when first meeting each other? Why's there a need to find what's wrong with that woman?), violence (Foolish women fighting over some ex-con), and it's just SAD. In my life, I've only met two women that have never struck me as miserable and have rarely acted catty towards others and we've been friends for over a decade.

Some of you are probably wondering why I never said anything. Well, I don't know either. I know that in the beginning, I partook in catty bitch behavior with her. I wish I hadn't because now I feel dirty for doing so. After a while, it had gotten really old and redundant. We'll be talking, someone passes by and greets us, TCO rolls her eyes, makes a face, and pops shit. Rinse. Repeat. And this is behavior coming from a middle-aged woman ya'll. Very. Fucking. Sad.

Over the years, I've worked on my rationale (still a work in progress) and now know that there are definitely genuine women out there. Aside from my wonderful self :-) I've actually met a number of genuine and pleasant women. I see TCO as a painful reminder of the kind of woman that I never wanna deviate into.


Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

lol, i agree and the male equal is called a fuck boy

Anonymiss said...

LOL! Yeah, I've seen cattiness amongst dudes. It's just as sad. But there's a stronger bond between men than there is between women.

Mister Bachelor said...

Every woman I know, except a few who werent black, acts this way. This is par for the course..

IGOD777 said...

Some men do this too. The difference is, is that men tend to utilize more topics, so that it's not the whole convo. It could also be that a lot of male convos aren't that deep which is why we tend to not divulge our hatred for people.

Anonymiss said...

@ Mister Bachelor,
I hate how this is accepted as predictable behavior amongst women. It's wasteful energy.

@ IGOD777,
You're right. The catty dudes I know won't waste a lot of time gossiping so as to not seem obsessed and "bitchy." And catty women usually don't have much going on with their lives nor do they have much to pride themselves on.

Anonymous said...

i love your blogname....
very cleva

and i know every type of person you named in this post

cant stand them....feed them off a long handle spoon

na mean?

Anonymiss said...

Thank you. And LOL at "feed them off a long handle spoon"!

Melyssa Ganache said...

I too, know every one a these chicks. Sad. And I have two wonderful girlfriends that I've been down with since way back and that's about it, largely because of the behaviors you point out. I can still enjoy a juicy story every now and again, but I'm done participating in gossip. It's a downer and a disease. And if someone's poppin shit about somebody else with you, they'll do it with somebody else, to you. I don't even trust em. Great post, Anonymiss.